Euan Wrote The Deeatribe

There’s been a fair bit of controversy around the Union recently, and it’s all because of this “Deeatribe”. I want to come clean now. I know who did it and his name is Euan Menzies. Here is my proof;

1) Euan was born in June and is therefore a Gemini, making him incredibly untrustworthy and sneaky.
2) He has gimpy hair which is just slightly (far) too long. He tried to his face, because he is guilty about his deeatribe.
3) He once threw a cat into a bin.
4) I’m being told by a reliable source (a relative of his) that he once bullied a girl until she killed herself. No wait, it might’ve been a caterpillar, or a bit of dust.
5) He’s disgustingly pessimistic about everything, even his own existence.
6) I saw him do it. Swear down. No lies… he was definitely doing something that involved a laptop and it wasn’t porn, cause it was sitting at a normal angle on his lap.

For more evidence, just message me or ask Euan why he did it.

As the next stage in the toture of Euan Menzies, just comment “Deeatribe” on his Facebook wall. If you don't, then you might be gay (science says so).