50th Post Special

We have a nice video plan for the 50th post special, but it's not done yet, so I'll keep you all informed for when it's up.

This post is all going to be about me, because he (and many others) have claimed I might be having a mental breakdown. He wants me to list the reasons (proof) he thinks it's happening. So here we go;

1) I say and do things and then can't remember doing them. The other day at work when my manager was serving a customer, I was sitting with my back to them. They were about to buy a £10,000 kitchen which I had booked the appointment for. I was just browsing the computer, while she worked her magic and then they left happily. As soon as they'd gone, she turned to me and started laughing. I asked why and she said that it was because I had been making high pitched bird noises. I genuinely can't remember doing this. She had to pretend it was perfectly normal so that the customers thought I was a "special child" (spastic). I got home and told Euan about this and he said I do it all of the time. Luckily my darling girlfriend was there to back me up... but she didn't. She sided with him.

2) I can't be alone. If I am alone for a few minutes, I'll put music or podcasts on. Usually podcasts. I even listen to them when I am in bed. Ill be lying there next to my girlfriend speaking and keeping her awake with my antics and she'll get annoyed. So she puts my headphones in and I giggle myself to sleep with my "podcasts friends" who I'll never meet.
I've even been known to refuse to eat because people wont come across the street with me to get food.

3) I deliberately leave my keys in the flat, so I have to do the buzzer and get to see Euan's wee face.

4)I've got a hair style now. Never before have I had a style. I've always had hair (never had cancer, yet (fingers crossed)), but it's always been just that. Hair sitting on my head. Recently, I've had a lesbian come around and shape it into hair shape. It's nice I guess, but I usually want it cut when I realise I'm in my 20s now and need to "grow up". Well listen up, squares, I stopped growing physically when I was 14 and mentally AGES ago; so don't hold out hope for my growing up any time soon, whatever it means.

5) I need daily reassurance that Euan is my friend. I mean, he's been at my side (equally) for 17 years now, but I still need him to tell me he is my friend.

6) I can't stop eating toast. I tell him it's because I'm poor and can't afford food, but it's not. I just like toast. Not as much as I've been eating it, mind, but I do like it.

Anyway... I can't put myself down anymore. I can't think of a number 7. Some people would say that keeping a blog for two years for somebody else would be a classic sign of a breakdown and a great number seven, but I'm not convinced.