Euan's Dreams

This is a really weird post. I wish I could say it wasn't 100% true, accurate and reflective of Euan's life and social class, but it is. I'm sorry if anyone out there is freaked out by it... I most certainly am.

Euan told me today about his glasses. I've never seen him wearing glasses before, so I thought it was a load of shit, but supposedly it's not. Euan wore glasses for years, until he discovered contact lenses. I really don't know how I missed this.

Even although he has glasses, he isn't specky. Just in the same way that some people without glasses just have a specky face.

I asked him why he hasn't worn glasses for ages and he said that "since his accident" he has always worn contact lenses. He told me it was easy, because you just "pop them in and change them once a month". At this point I knew he's tripped up. I was all "you need to take them out at night, you foolish fool" and then he said the weirdest thing I've ever heard;

"Not if you want to read in your dreams" ... I know... "I tried to sleep without them in and then kept dying in my dreams. I must have been walking past all of the 'hazardous wasteground' signs, because my eyes were so bad I never saw them. So now I just wear them when I'm sleeping and I see fine in my dreams"

Nice one, Euan. Even in your deepest dreams (where you can do or be ANYTHING), you're shit at something. I once dreamt I was God. Let's compare these aspirations.

Poor Euan.

ps; post "specky" on his wall.