I hate Movember.

So November is here and unlike every other year, it’s not just the puntualoty of Christmas decorations that people are talking about. Yes they are up too early; but they have been up pretty early for as long as I can remember, so why the moaning?

The term “Christmas is getting earlier” pisses me off more than anything. Honestly, it’s not. It’s been on the 25th of December for about 2010 years now, so fucking deal with it.

Anyway. This post is about the latest phenomenon that’s annoying me; Movember;

“oh, let’s all grow moustaches for charity”

HOW IS IT FOR CHARITY? I’ve seen a lot of people’s pathetic excuse for a bit of lipmuff (the new official term) and out of them, only one has set up a JustGiving account; only one of them is doing it for charity. The rest of us – and I include myself – are doing it for ourselves. I want to see if I can grow a moustache. I’m not saying it’s for Movember, because it’s for me.

After four days of attempted facial hair, I’m doing very well. I have a moustache and know I can’t grow a beard. There is something that is disturbing me, though.

Why is having a moustache and a dirty (pathetically patchy and hairless) face different from just a moustache? I’m struggling to shave the rest off. If I just leave it the way it is, I can pretend I’ve just forgotten to shave; like most of the time.

By shaving off the ‘beard’ I’m admitting that I’ve given into this vain masculinity contest and that some people are better at looking like they’re from the 40s than me, because that’s what we all look like; men from the past… and the past isn’t a good place: remember the plague? I do. Horrible ordeal.