What Euan Thinks Of Women

Me and Euan are just back from Tesco and had a wonderful chat on our way back. He said that God might punish him one day for being sexist, so to make up for it, he might as well be as sexist as possible.

He imagined waking up and being a woman and these are just some of the things he'd walk about saying;

- What's dropping faster, my tits or my IQ?
- HAHAHA, I'm bleeding from my fanny again... THAT'S WHAT I SAID!
- When I was fifteen I had an underage abortion.
- Sometimes I eat a whole pizza and then make myself sick.
- I like touching my boobs.
- I have an uncontrollable urge to dye myself orange!
- You're 38? Well I'm only 19 and I'm weirdly attracted to you because of my daddy issues... sex?
- I don't drink lager, cause it can give you chlamydia.
- I have Chlamydia!
- I wish I was a boy, so I could have a wank and nobody outside Boots would find it weird.

I can't remember the rest, because they were pretty sick, but yeah, welcome to some of Euan's thoughts on women.