The Other Euan

In some circles Euan is known as Euan 1, but I've promised not to mention it to anybody or ever make him feel awkward for it... aye Euan?

Here is the real Euan Menzies.

I know what you're all thinking; "This is weird and leaves only two possible conclusions". Well, I think you're right. Euan is either;

A) leading a double life in which he absolutely loves Basshunter and calling people "m8"
or
2) Somebody is impersonating Euan and using his credentials to get free food in bars.

I have a big problem with either conclusion. Conclusion 1 because Euan rarely has any time when I'm not following him and taking notes. If he was leading a double life, then he's doing a terrible job. He must only be doing it between 2 and 8 on a Saturday and 10 and 7 on a Sunday (when I work and leave him alone (except for hourly phone calls)). If he is doing this, he's lazy and I think we should boycott him.

And conclusion B, because I haven't got any free meals from Euan's fame. I dragged him into the limelight kicking and screaming and haven't got any recognition for it at all. If somebody else is out there pretending to be Euan (as if they'd want to (as if they'd have the boyish, hairless face)) then I at least want them to be an advert for Euan's show. I bet they're doing fuck all though. I work my ass off spamming facebook and sneaking hyperlinks into blogs every day and this FAKE EUAN BASTARD is stealing all my free food. And unlike the real Euan, I can't even steal any of his food, because he's doing it behind my back.

I'm getting annoyed at both Euan's now. I need to stop writing. I'm genuinely fuming.