Bla

So this might be the first thing I have written in months that doesn’t contain some Latin. Weird, I guess. To find it weird when I don’t use a language that died thousands of years ago.

So yeah, it might just be me that has this feeling sometimes, but can anyone else put into words when you feels “bla”. Now, we all know Bla’s bastard cousin “bla (u)” and his delightful friend “bla (L)”, but what about Bla himself. I’m going to try.

Bla sounds like that faint din that comes off of all modern electrical equipment when left on. It is the smell (if I may comment on you superior human’s senses) of a printer toner machine. It is the taste of your mouth when you’ve just stopped chewing gum after 2 days. It’s lukewarm water. It is the “am I tired, or do I just want to give up?” feeling. It’s not knowing what you want. It’s primary school mashed potatoes. It’s when your cheeks feel heavier and you realise you’ve not smiled in a while. It’s counting down the days to something you know will disappoint. It’s realising that you wont “totally remember and think about this day” in later life. It’s a friend taking too many liberties. It’s trying to rationalise everything when you should just take it in your stride. It’s giving up.

Any ideas?

Dirty Boy

So yeah, Euan is a total pervert.

On Friday night we were at Catherine's flat having a party. Euan got a call (oh yes, a dirty drunken one) from his girlfriend. She seemed worried about something, so we both went to see if her and her wee friends were okay.

When we arrived, I saw a poor little girl crying on the pavement. I suddenly felt like it was my duty to help her, so I bumbled over and asked her what was wrong. She said that Euan had pierced her nipples... Well, I don't know what to say. The boy is going around piercing 13-year-old nipples, to the point that it brings children to tears. Judge for yourself.

The next thing was last night when I phoned him for a chat. He answered the phone by barking "WHAT?" at me. At first I thought he was joking, but then - due to his heavy breathing and whispering girlfriend - I could tell that I had just phoned Euan on the precipise of orgasm. Well, why not :P Next time though, Euan... don't answer your phone with horrible sticky fingers.

LOL

Me: "So yeah, David is a rubbish vegetarian now - eating pork sausages every day. Why doesnt he just eat seafood if he wants some protein? :S"
Mum: "you put him off seafood :S"
me: "I did?"
Mum: "Well, it depends. I'm not sure if cutting off a mussel's penis and throwing it at him was off-putting"

LOL xD I love my family :P

The last smileys are Sponsored by PurpleSheep.

Sleeping Boy.

Euan speaks in his sleep. Not only does he speak in his sleep, but he seems to wind himself up while he sleeps, too.

He lays there, whispering to himself about monsters eating old school friends and every few seconds he flips his hair out of his face. I am amazed that his neck hasn’t broken in life. Every few seconds he just flicks his hair… I don’t know how he has survived this long. He must always have back pain. I’m sure he should be about six foot, but all the back pain and slouching has made him smaller. Poor wee Euan.

Euan has the weird belief that the stools in his house think they are tables. I still can’t get my head around it. He just said it in town one day; “All the stools in my house think they are tables”… he said it is because they always have stuff sitting on them. To be honest, in most houses I wouldn’t attribute the behaviour to the object, but Euan’s house is weird.

That was the same day that Euan told me he only had one outfit, and that every night he would wash it on his little washboard in a stream. I suspected “stream” to mean “river”, but it might be a juicy stream of urine. Who knows with this boy?

Thinking Aloud; Relationship Metaphor.

A person is like a forest. And when you start a relationship, you have to work to make that forest into a nice garden. And then even when you have the garden, you still need to look after it, ie; cut the grass occasionally... (I am loving this metaphor, by the way :P) but eventually if you do want to end it, everything will go back to normal. It may take time to recover, but it will eventually become overgrown and a forest again.

The Alpha and Omega

So I am a Christian now. I decided today. Christianity helped Johnny Cash get off of drugs and he died happily knowing that he'd meet God one day. It truly is just a happier alternative to death and then nothing. ALSO, because I am off Irish decent, I can drink like Hell and not feel as bad.

So, it's time to start being nicer to people. I also have to forgive, accept and stop judging. But then again, if Jesus can die for all of us, then surely I can stop judging people.

Anyway, bible time.

Aspiration.

What would be better than getting yourself a backpack and just walking? Maybe finding an inlet, outlet or a shake-it-all-about-let in a hill and just living there alone. I’d bring one of my chickens so I’d have eggs, and if worst came to worst, a make-shift KFC. Steal some seeds from my mum’s greenhouse and make a wee farm for myself. I would just live happily, with a few pens and a pad of paper. I’d teach myself to draw. I’d never have to see another person ever again. Maybe I’d get a goat. No, I’d definitely get a goat. I’d need it. Goat or a dog? Goat. A goat is a loyal animal; easy to trust. I think it’s the beard… it’s hard to doubt a person/animal with a beard, unless they’re homeless. But ironically enough, that is what I would be.