Bob - Film
I almost forgot how many great films came out in 2010. Well, not necessarily great films, but films I anticipated so much I wet myself more than once. The amazing and ridiculous iron man 2 was finally released this year, after I watched the trailer literally every day. The Expendables and A Team were also released after what seemed like a century of waiting, to mixed reviews. Kooky, clever, and amazing comic-book comedies tailor-made for our generation were bought out in the form of the superb Kick ass and it's little brother, Scott Pilgrim. Of course, 2010 was overshadowed by being the year 3d clawed itself out of the lead lined tomb it had been buried in since the 80's, and has been plastered over cinema with a vengeance. Still, nothing can take away from the fact that 2010 was home to two of the best films I've seen - Inception and Toy Story 3
Favourite film 2010
Inception
Ohh!! So hard to decide on a number one favourite, but Christopher Nolan’s mind-fuckingly brilliant dream-epic takes the psychological biscuit this year. Although subject to (fair) ridicule by some critics, it's a film that even after multiple viewings still makes me clap like a retarded nursery character. Amazing performances, a riveting and complex story, great ideas, and breathtaking visuals, it was refreshing to see a movie lift itself up from all the other garbage that is thrown at film fans.
Runners up
Toy Story 3, kick ass, and machete
Yes, I have had to do three runners up because I could see no way to leave any of these great films off my list. Toy story 3 surpassed everyone's wildest expectations, proving that pixar could easily follow (and better) their previous efforts. Not only did the third film in the franchise entertain both adults and young children, it catered for and thanked the (now much older) loyal toy story fan base. And yes, I cried at the end.
Kick ass was not only one of the best comedies of the year, but of the last ten years. Taking a thankfully refreshing spin on the superhero genre, it...well it kicked ass. It was unbelievably funny, witty, clever, and contained some of the most memorable and well directed fight scenes (and death scene) I've ever seen. Also, much respect to Nicholas cage for his excellent Adam west style superhero.
Machete. Well holy shit. Where all the big budget action films failed this year, machete succeeded. I can't really do machete justice in a few sentences. For said justice, read my review.
Most disappointing film of 2010
The Expendables
Now, I enjoyed this film. I expected to. A lot was made of the ensemble cast, and that's what got me excited. This was the 80's action film that never was... and I love ridiculous 80's action films. However, Stallone fucked it up. It wasn't a bad film; it just could have been so much more. Instead of hamming it up and playing with the ??? of the movies it was emulating, it just didn't push it far enough. For an example of what he should have done, see Machete.
The Phantom Menace
I know this film was released originally years ago now, but I was disappointed by it so much that I don't think I ever wont be. It failed so badly that the disappointment it created will reverberate through space and time, for all eternity as a warning. As long as there exists somewhere a copy of that film, I will be disappointed.
Paul – Film
This year in film was okay. I don’t want to copy all of Bob’s choices, so I’ll just say that Inception was great, if not far too drawn out in the last hour. It did claw back some shadow of its former self, though, when at the end it turned out that it was obviously all a dream. It did keep spinning, so don’t argue, or I’ll fight you.
Favourite Film
Crazy Heart
Now I know I’m going to come across as an old man and I know that this film is in fact from 2009, but Crazy Heart was the best film I saw in 2010. It was the perfect film. There was love, action, alcoholism and country music. If you’ve seen The Wrestler, then you’ll know the rough story.
Jeff Bridges (in one of his best roles of his life) plays an aging alcoholic country singer, who once had been a stadium-filler, but now plays small gigs in pubs, repeating his most famous song over and over.
There’s not much else I can say about this film, other than that it is amazing. If you love the story of a man overcoming his struggles, then you’ll love this. If you don’t, then crack on a porno and crack out some jizz, cause that’s all you’re good for.
Runner up
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
From the second that the pixelated universal logo came onto the screen, I was laughing my little geeky pants off. The jokes were so layered and so expected of Edgar Wright. The man hasn’t made a bad film or TV programme ever, so my expectations were high when I went to see Scott Pilgrim and he still managed to blow me out of the water, like a shark with a tendency to suck cock without biting (or with, if that’s your thing).
Everything about this film tickled my generation, but sadly, only my generation. If you hadn’t grown up with Zelda and Mario as Godparents, then you wouldn’t get most of the jokes.
The fight scenes were so ridiculous and as such were the best I can remember from a film, but then again, Bob still hasn’t sat me down to watch Machete.
I can’t do it justice in a few sentences, so if you’re aged between 14 and 27, go and watch it. You’ll find a whole new side of yourself. Hopefully it’s not a mass murdering, paedophile side. If it is, you can’t sue me or Scott Pilgrim, because I won’t listen and he’ll get dragons to kick your ass.
Most Disappointing Film of 2010
Now I know I said I wouldn’t copy Bob’s films, but this next shit storm of a film just can’t be left out.
The Expendables
Worst film ever. The premise was great; lots of the golden-oldie ass kickers getting together and kicking ass. The main problem with the film was that it took itself seriously (watch RED for a film with the same premise, but done well). Jason Statham hanging from a plane and then God knows what happening and then an explosion was just too much shite at once to keep me interested.
And most importantly; Sylvester Stallone looks like he wasn’t acting in the Rocky films. His face has been so battered in the last 60 years of his life, that they might as well have reanimated the corpse of his mother (she’ll be dead soon. I promise) and got her to play his role. When he went back to the island to save the 20-year-old woman that for some reason loved him, I just couldn’t understand why, but today instead of a runner up film, I’ll bring you that reason.
The Reason That The Hot Girl Loved A Face-Mangled Sixty Year Old
Her daddy fucked her.
Good night everyone and God bless.
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