Paul and Euan Finally Do It

I have achieved. I could die tonight and I know I’d go happily. When my life flashes before my eyes, I’ll rush past it all and just enjoy what happened last night between me and Euan.

I’ll give you some back story;

1) Euan has woken up numerous times in his life, mid-coital (I think that’s the term). He literally wakes up having sex.

2) I have a friend called Mhairi who I’ve known my whole life.

3) Last night my girlfriend Jess and Mhairi got very drunk and Mhairi decided to stay here at my flat, in my bed with my girlfriend (nothing happened. I’ve asked them and they both suspiciously told me so (*cough*))

I think you all see the problem here. Mhairi is sleeping in my bed and that leaves me bedless and without the possibility to sleep in the living room on the two comfy couches (hehe).

After a LOT of convincing that I wouldn’t do “anything weird”, Euan said I could stay in his bed with him. The average person would think I was taking a risk by sleeping in a bed with a known sleep-sexer, but I thought it would be worth it for this blog alone and who cares about the average person? The average person has a low IQ and 50% of people, by definition, are more stupid than that.

So yeah. We slept together. It finally happened. He has finally cracked. I don’t know what it was that made him start to trust me. Maybe it was the out of date flake I bought him the other day. I really don’t know.

The sleep was quite nice. I woke up for the first time at about 7.30, which is great, because I usually wake up several times at night, starting at about 4. I guess I just felt safe with him nuzzled beside me.

I don’t think he sexed me in the night (even though I was naked), but when I woke up at 7.30, he was awake and my big toe was all covered in slobbers. It’s fine though, cause he said a big dog did it. I’m so lucky I had my big man there to save me from the big dog.

If anyone thinks this is a lie, you’re actually wrong this time. This is all entirely true. I am genuinely as amazed as you are. And yes, I did have to move the squashed toffee from under his pillow.