Euan's New Phone

Euan got a new phone for Christmas. I say he got a new phone, he didn't. All he got for Christmas was hints.
There is some truth behind this phone nonsense though. He has got a new phone, but because his parents don't love him enough, it's just his brother's old phone. He's never cared too much for phones, though, so it's all gravy with him (not actual gravy, he doesn't speak to meat stock and hope his friends hear him.)

I never knew how little he cared about phones until today though. Euan turned to me ans asked me if I wanted to marry a witch. I entertained him by pretending they were real for a while, but then I realised that he had a dirty wee agenda, so asked him why he would want to marry a witch. He told me that it'd be great, because you wouldn't have to have a phone. If you wanted to speak to your wife, you "would just whisper into a feather and then blow it into the wind".

I don't know why this is a preferable form of communication for him, but it is, so why not. His new idea for facebook is that he wants us to gently lick letters into a camel's bumhole. I don't think it'll take off.