Trouser Sausage

Should you go through life flexing your blood muscle with every random girl that's up for it, until you find one that is too good just for the old pelvic thrust? Somebody who you want to spend time with. Or do you hold back from doing much with any women, because you're worried you're taking advantage of them, until you find the right one?

Anyway, just a wee pondering I've been adoing. But yeah, back to the dirty old pervert that is Euan;

• He is disabled. He really is. The boy has some kind of weird allergy that flares up whenever ceramic (mostly dishes) and fairy liquid (the cheap stuff, I'm not made of money) get close. I.e. he has not washed a single dish in the last two months that we've been living together. It's like he is retarded or something... but I know he's not, cause a retard wouldn't manage to convince his girlfriend (who had limited time in this country. Who he should be flexing the blood muscle with (interpret "blood muscle" as you will. We all know it means "penis", but could it mean "brain"?)) to do the dishes in the end. Not only do the dishes, but wash the disgusting off food from the plug hole. What can I say, the boy is a romantic. If it's out of date food, pokemon, crumpets or 99p coconut shampoo you're after, then he's your man. I know a lot of girls out there may have just been convinced by the idea of crumpets, but do let me inform you that they are also out of date.
• No paninis either...
  

ps; he uses butter in sex the puts it back in the fridge.
pps; I bought fresh butter.