The Crepuscular Being That Is

So, the keen-eyed (Mhairi) and long-faced (not Iain) among you will have noticed a distinct lack of activity in the land of Euania recently. I would love to say it's because his bustling social life keeps him out to all hours and I rarely see him, but no, this is not the case. It is not drunken, student-esque debauchery that preoccupies the vast majority of Euan's time, but sleep. That my children, is why I'd like to pull back the iron, yale-branded curtain into Euan's sleeping life.

As aforementioned, the Euan is a crepuscular being, only being seen awake during twilight hours. He usually gets up at around 2pm and crawls morosely back into his nest at around 4am...such is the life of a video gamer. Furthermore, if ever a line of questions boldely steps onto this subject, Euan abruptly goes into a cream puff and refuses to admit it to be the truth. Now I know it may be daring for somebody who has been starting work at 11pm and getting home at 5am to say somebody else's sleeping patterns are ridiculous, but my God this boy is a freak. I bet this is why the Dodo died out...

If only I had a way to record the beautiful sound of Euan sleeping. I am sitting at his door now, and it's surreal. It sounds like a manatee making love to a goat, to death. One second he sounds graceful, but then he reeks it back in with a startled and confused yelp, that in the great words of Johnny Cash; "would be the envy of most any man". "Envy of [...] men" for one reason and one reason only: when Euan sleeps he is more manly than at any other time. If you ask him to tell you something manly about himself, he'll point to a tiny scar on his head and say "the doctor makes me massage it, but I don't do it, 'cause I like my scars." Not to belittle Euan's fantastic quarter inch oddity, but it's where he got a superfluous papillary removed... that's right, an extra nipple. Not so manly after all.