So yeah, Euan is a total pervert.
On Friday night we were at Catherine's flat having a party. Euan got a call (oh yes, a dirty drunken one) from his girlfriend. She seemed worried about something, so we both went to see if her and her wee friends were okay.
When we arrived, I saw a poor little girl crying on the pavement. I suddenly felt like it was my duty to help her, so I bumbled over and asked her what was wrong. She said that Euan had pierced her nipples... Well, I don't know what to say. The boy is going around piercing 13-year-old nipples, to the point that it brings children to tears. Judge for yourself.
The next thing was last night when I phoned him for a chat. He answered the phone by barking "WHAT?" at me. At first I thought he was joking, but then - due to his heavy breathing and whispering girlfriend - I could tell that I had just phoned Euan on the precipise of orgasm. Well, why not :P Next time though, Euan... don't answer your phone with horrible sticky fingers.